9/13/2011

THE XBOX


“KNOCK, KNOCK”

It’s Friday night, 6-30pm, our eyes lock in a look of resignation, we know who it is. Every Friday at this time there is a knock on the door and there is stood
THE XBOX.



    “Hiyah, come in”.





“Sit down. How’s things”?
“Ok thanks”.
“Any new games lately”?



“Don’t spend too much time on that you will strain your eyes”.




“Fish fingers and chips”?
“Yes please”.
“Do you want a drink”?
“Yes please”.






“Night night Xbox”.
“Night night Pingu”.
“Night Grandma, night Granddad”.




...HEY UP



“Hey up”!
“Hey up”?
What’s that about?

I spend a lot of time walking and quite often walk along the canal bank, it’s easy walking and beautiful countryside.

It can get very busy at times, with walkers like me, dog owners who walk no more than a few yards from the bridge to “empty” their dog and then the cyclists (who henceforth will be known as They or Them).

“They” are all very serious nowadays, the bright lycra, the streamlined helmets, cycling shoes, cycles that cost thousands of pounds but what do many of them not have? A bell! That’s right, nothing to warn you “They” are about to flash past you at 20mph or more seriously “They” are going to collide into you from the rear.

“A bell”. A thing of beauty really, small and delicate, matt black, shiny silver or even colourful plastic and, best of all, cheap. I have just checked the internet and for a mere £2-85 I can get a (and I quote) “Huge 65mm chrome-plated 2 tone ding-dong bicycle bell by Coyote” postage extra. For customer review see below.

I always walk in the middle of the path on the canal bank and wait for them to arrive. It is ok when they approach you from the front you can see them and make your stance. Like a scene from High Noon the distance between me and “Them” diminishes. I stand my ground and slowly with each step I make I gradually walk nearer the canal forcing “Them”, with terror in their eyes, to steer nearer and nearer to a watery conclusion.

It is when “They” come at you from behind it is very concerting, for although having  a very keen sense of hearing sometimes “They” do slip past the radar with a shout of “Hey up!” which, depending on my mood at the time receives a reply of “Want a bloody quid for a bell?”


CUSTOMER REVIEW: I do like the look and the sound of this bell. I suppose I shouldn't have expected too much for the price. The bell is cheaply made and rings whenever my bike is in motion (and gets especially loud when I hit potholes). The sound when not being rung isn't as loud as actually ringing the bell (it sounds kind of like wind chimes). I've tried tightening and loosening the casing, but neither method solved the problem 

Overall, nice sound when it rings. It just continues to make sound at other times too. (honest, I’ve not made that up).