THE US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 2008**

For what seems an eternity we (in England) have been bombarded on TV and in the newspapers by an endless barrage of "The US Presidential Election."

Democrats, Republicans, Primaries, I still don't understand what these mean, even after all this time. Why does it go on for ever? In England all it takes is someone pushing a leaflet through your letterbox which says,
"Please vote for ...",
the following coming up on your TV screen three times,
"And now a party political broadcast on behalf of the .......... party",
and finally, 25% of the population (if it's a fine day), one Thursday, walk round to the polling station, usually in the nearest school hall, you are given a voting slip, then you stand in a rickety plywood booth and put your cross against a name. That's it!
It's all over, and nobody really cares who wins anyway, for we will only complain about whoever it is and swear not to vote for them again.

But not in America, oh no, John "crack" Cocaine or Ali "big ears" Barba only have to go shopping and they attract a bigger crowd than we do for the FA Cup Final (mind you it's probably more entertaining"). Can you imagine English people doing that? They shout and cheer, wave cardboard banners in the air and all the candidates do is pull the other one to pieces. And another thing, they are always smiling! Can you imagine Gordon Brown smiling or that other one, whatever his name is.

I cannot take the two candidates seriously. Every time I see McCain I crack out laughing for I always have a mental image of James Cagney portraying Al Capone saying "oooh you dirty rat" and as for "those ears" on Ali Barba.

Not long to go now and it will all be over and Ali Barba (I hope) will be the 44th president of The US of A, except for the next two months there will be re-counts and re-counts of re-counts until the four years is nearly up and it's time to start all over again. Bet George Washington is up there, a little smirk on his face, thinking to himself, "what the hell have I started?"