FOLLOW ME I HAVE A MAP...(an incident on the way to my niece's wedding)

'Tis the morning of the wedding day,
Of two young lovers, Kevin; Faye.
A perfect day to make their vows,
No fallings out or many rows.

At the castle we did plan to meet,
To follow Arthur, as in a fleet.
We all stood at our car door,
One, two, then three and four.

Then at the signal we jumped in,
Brothers, sisters, kith and kin.
Off we went our way to wend,
Until we lost him round the bend.

Round and round and here and there,
I was following daughter Claire.
In front of her there was this car,
With two Aussies who had come far.

In a garage-forecourt they did stop,
From out our cars we all did hop.
"Bloody strewth Bruce! we're all lost,
We need to find him at our cost."

“Follow me I have a map,
It’s now spread out upon my lap.
To find the church we now must go,
One after another all in a row."

The clock is ticking faster now,
As we sped off stern to bow.
Which way to go we do not know,
The road that's high or the road that's low.

The motorway it loomed ahead,
And to the left Aussie Bruce he led.
A sign appeared that stopped our smiles,
"Belfast only twenty miles."

"Oh my God!" now what to do?
Bruce as got us in a stew.
"To turn around we have no choice,"
From out the back there came this voice.

A slip road there appeared ahead,
So down it now was where we sped.
"Look there's a farmer, he will know,
Ask him the way that we must go."

"To be sure just go down,
Down and down into the town."
"At the pub you should turn right,
Just twenty yards from the traffic-light."

Time is passing, not long now,
When our pair will make their vow.
Over sea and over land,
We have come to see the wedding band.

"There it is! there's the church,"
And to a halt the car did lurch.
Out we jumped and off we ran,
But we carried dear old Gran.

Into the church we then did fly,
And old Gran she let out a sigh,.
When the Usher said "You'll have to wait",
"The couple are an hour late."